Just about six (6) years ago I learned I would be losing my license to practice law in the State of Florida. The writing was on the wall for a few months but now, however, it was in writing and just a matter of being recorded by way of an Order. That Order was the first which was just a suspension, but I knew what was coming, the Florida Bar had me dead to rights and the punishment was only one thing, disbarment. I started a private blog going back through how I arrived at my situation, the purpose was to be warning to others who found themselves in similar circumstances. I may still publish all of my semi-weekly postings at some point, for the purposes of this page it just a summary for those that are interested in learning more about this journey. Losing it all takes a blink of an eye!

For over 20+ years I practiced law in three (3) different States; ran my own law office; managed a law firm that saved thousands of homeowners from foreclosure in five (5) different States; filed 100s of bankruptcy petitions to give consumers a fresh start; appeared on the local news for suing one of the most corrupt Cities in the United States; tried cases in State and Federal Court; was a conduit to numerous TV and Newspaper reporters; represented 1000s of disabled persons securing social security disability benefits throughout the State of Florida; received numerous pro bono awards and made a decent living.

Then of the course of 3-6 months as I resigned from the firm which had offered me a regular paycheck; the reality that my marriage was truly over; the pressure of running my own office once again with more work than ever, I fell into depression. A few poor decisions which offered shortcuts to running my business, the pressure of now having to provide support for two (2) households and the ongoing case load only caused my depression to deepen. Among my peers we hear about our colleagues becoming burned out which is not truly accurate, as more and more pressure mounts, it more a feeling of helplessness and quickly becomes just not caring. As the bills and obligations mounted, the cash flow just was not available. I moved to cheaper office space, that clearly should help right? It did for a while, but after a few months I was back in a hole, the financial obligations were becoming too much. Trying to be optimistic at such a time is not easy, however, outwardly I always presented as being okay, while inwardly I was a complete mess.

On top of the financial pressure I was trying to co-parent with someone who I had a lot of animosity towards and the guilt related to both. Guilt that I was not able to be more understanding or provide enough financial support, although looking back I realize the last part was misplaced. I gave up everything in our divorce settlement, because I just wanted it over with! That only increased the pressure I felt, drove me further into a funk where I was not very functional. Not a good place for a litigator to be when trying to represent clients with a lot on the line. It was easier to ignore calls than take them, it was easier to sleep in than wake up and I was spiraling further downward each and every day. At the same time I was trying my best to continue to be the best father I could, hiding my pysche was not easy as well giving in to my ex-wife's demands just to avoid conflict was not in my best interest. I was sacrificing my time in order to keep the status quo, however, the demands only increased not only in my time but from a financial aspect as well. I fell behind in my obligations, barely was generating enough to keep a roof over my head and was in desperate need of a life line.

My parents have always been there for me, however, I could not bring myself to ask for help. More guilt maybe or just a feeling of inadequacy, I needed to figure all of it out for myself. So when a settlement check came in it was just far too easy to pay what I needed to and worry about making it up in the future. This of course is the kiss of death when it comes to a lawyer, I know we are entrusted to protect our clients interests and not "borrow" even a penny. Stalling only went so far before this client reported me to the Bar, the next six months, I closed my office, attempted to continue running my practice, however, the enormity of my situation just became too much. I referred all my clients to other attorneys and waited until the envitable happened. In August of 2016 it was all official I was no longer a member of the Florida Bar, for a period of five (5) years I could not even apply to be readmitted. I was not in any better place pyschologically, so what next?

For the past 5+ years I have had a lot of ups and downs. My divorce became final, the craziness has not. I was still on the hook for much more than I had or could now earn. Finding work as a disbarred attorney is not an easy thing, the Florida Bar makes it all the more difficult - if you work at a law firm you cannot meet/speak with clients without full disclosure and another lawyer present, as well the employing firm must submit quarterly reports outlining the matters worked on. Other employment is also difficult to obtain, first because after 20+ years as an attorney you are viewed as being over qualified or not being a good risk to learn a new position, since if a better one came along you would surely leave; second although we all hear that everyone deserves a second chance, employers are not so quick to give them, the internet provides all the information needed, searching my name first result is my Florida Bar disbarment. A vicious cycle which is very difficult to break! I could go on and on with specific events, but you might become sanguine in reading them, it is not a pretty story.

So after getting my head in a better place with the help a an awesome therapist, I have gotten back on track with the rest of my life. You find out who your friends are when you need them most. My family and a few friends have been there for me lock step. The Gig economy offered a way to fill the gap between doing legal work for my closest friends. It has not been easy, trying to stay positive and seeing a light at the end of the tunnel, gets replaced almost daily by beating myself up for getting myself into this position. Being motivated is a struggle of epic proportions as I still deal with depression to a lesser extent. And now that my five (5) years are up, I need to decide whether to go through the process of seeking readmission. Its a long process with substantial costs for competent counsel to navigate the Florida Bar's requirements. The through of sitting for the bar again is not something I would look forward to, however, I think I owe to myself to try.

In the meantime I have a number of business projects, some of which have been years in the making and some which are relatively new. You most likely landed on this post from one of the home pages and if you can support any of them it is greatly appreciated!